I haven’t had a pimple on my face for decades, so imagine my surprise when a red blotch appeared next to my left nostril and it appeared to be the early stages of what looked like could be quite a nasty pimple in the making.
Some people would go run and try get pimple remedies to get rid of this nasty little pus-filled intruder, but I decided that when life hands you a pimple at my somewhat advanced age, make art out of it. I thought I’d document the entire life of this pimple from the starting stage all the way to when it pops. And there will be no forced popping here, I’m going to wait and let it explode all on its on. We’ll let Mother Nature to decide when this baby pops.
We’ve all seen documentaries, rockumentaries and mockumentaries, but now, as a first here only at MBIP, prepare to enjoy the premiere of the world’s first pimple-based, “Popumentary!” Would somebody please notify the Pulitzer Prize Commitee?
Okay, lights...camera...pimple!
Day One: A pimple appears on the horizon of my cheek right next to my left nostril. Sometimes my skin goes all spotty on me and I’ve been told by doctors this could be brought on by stress and/or something I ate. The pimple appears to be making the rest of my face go all spotty. Funny I don’t remember eating a big plate of stress yesterday, but from the looks of my face I must have ingested a stress on rye sandwich without even realizing it.
Day Two: Wow, it’s really turned red and it’s sore. And check out the rest of my face, it’s so spotty it looks like I have the measles and I look like a real freak. A pimple, measles...what’s next, am I going to go through puberty again? Oh well, at least there’s internet porn if that does indeed happen.
Day Three: As you can see, it’s starting to take shape and it’s slowly coming to a head. I thought there used to be a cartoon called, Ed Head, I think in Playboy, so I Googled it and while I didn’t find the cartoon, I learned there was a baseball player with the most unfortunate name of Ed Head! So I thought we’d name the pimple, “Ed.” Welcome to my face, Ed! And please, could you stop being such a sorehead!
Day Four: Not much growth in Ed, but it’s really fucking sore now.
Day Five: As you can see, a small little pustule has appeared on Ed. This is starting to get colorful!
Day Six: Yikes! Ed has sprung his head and it’s bright yellow and it hurts like a bitch! I also look really like a freak now, I'm about six degrees away from a leper on the freakazoid scale.
Day Seven: Thar she blows, mateys! Ed has shot his wad! This happened right after I got out of the shower, I sneezed, it popped and I went running for the camera! History in the making!
Day Eight: Uh oh, Ed’s turned into a scab! I hope the union pimples don’t hear about this, there could be a nasty confrontation on my cheek.
Day Nine: It’s official, just like Elvis, Ed has left the building and the scab is gone. All that remains on my face is a little hole inside of a bump. It’s not sore anymore and that’s a relief.
Day Ten: Not much change from day nine...number nine...number nine...
Day Eleven: Check it out, I’m starting to look as normal as I can look. Ed’s been reduced to one small hole and the spots are almost are cleared up on my face! Oh happy day!
Day Twelve: Back to normal...well, as normal as it gets for me. One thing I just realized, all this attention to Ed the pimple and I’ve forgotten about something...
Day Twelve, Part II: Trimming My Nosehair: We’ll see you all tomorrow!
Related Posts: Trimming My Nose Hair.
Bonus "Ed Head" Comic!
MBIP pal and Contributor, Scott Hurley found the comic strip, "Ed Head," that I was talking about earlier! And here it is, thanks, Scott!
