I’m not a big fan of a lot of rules and regulations, but there are some rules that need to be followed. I’m going to point out a few of these at the Northwoods Mall today. Follow along and you shall see.
And through the magic of the internet, here we are at the Northwoods Mall. I can't wait for that snow to melt!
I have just one word for these magenta mannequins: Sunscreen!
Let's go check out these vending machines and start putting some rules in place.
So far this looks like a normal Coke machine, but if you look further...
You'll see that you can now buy your bottle of Coke with a credit card, which leads us to rule number one...
You should never leave your home without cash. Green spendable dollar bills. These sodas go for a buck fifty a pop. No one should pull out a credit card to buy one. The first rule of today is that you should never leave your house or apartment without at least ten bucks in your pocket. That's just the way it is. I don't want to live in a cashless society. This reminds me of a couple of years ago when I was living in New York. I was in a hurry and stopped to get a slice at a shitty one dollar slice pizza parlor on St. Mark's called Two Brother's Pizza. In front of me was a girl that just smacked of NYU rich-kid entitlement. She ordered a plain slice with her nose firmly tucked up in the air and then handed the guy behind the counter a credit card for payment. When he told her in clipped English that they didn't take credit cards, she blew up at him, haughtily telling him that no one carries cash these days. That's when I intervened. I don't get mad often but when I do, I get a little berserk. "You mean to tell me you don't even have one dollar on you?" I asked her in sharp tones. She snipped back, "No one carries cash anymore, what's wrong with you?" So I told her to get the fuck out of there, she looked shocked and yelled out that she hated New York and I told her New York hated her twice as much as she scurried out the door. The employee thanked me as he served me my slice and all was well again. Carry cash people! It's just the rules.
Look, they have a photo booth, which leads us to rule number two...
Photo is spelled, "photo," NOT "foto." Maybe they think this makes it sound fun, or should I say, "phun," but it doesn't. It's just wrong and they need to stop doing this.
And looking down the hallway I see rule number three being broken. Let's go take a look.
Rule number three is that you should never ever have two photo booths on the same floor. There's just not that much call for this sort of business in these days when everyone is taking photos of themselves with their smart phones. So to have two of them within spitting distance of each other in one hallway is just as nuts as having 68 gumball machines in one mall. And please, can we cool it with the "Foto" spelling?
Rule number four is that whenever you pass by a photo booth, you should stop and take advantage of it. It's a fun thing to do.
Here comes my photos which in turn leads to the fifth rule of the day...
You should always flip the bird in the fourth foto...I mean photo.
As I was leaving I saw this sign proclaiming: "It's Easter Bunny Photo Time!" I had no idea that it was Easter Bunny Photo Time, so I hopped on over to...
The Easter Bunny corner of the mall.
Tara's in charge here and she takes the Easter Bunny photos. She's really nice and what a great smile!
And there's the Easter Bunny! And you know when you see an Easter Bunny at the mall, there's only one thing to do...
You sit on the Easter Bunny's lap...
And you get your picture taken. It's just the rules and that's the way it is. We'll see you all tomorrow. P.S. Note the Easter Bunny flashing the MBIP business card, that made my day!
Further reading: Mallseeker, Wikipedia and Flash Foto Booth.
Bonus Easter Card from Jaws the Cabbie!
Jaws sent in this Easter card for today's post. Nice one, Jaws, thanks!
