We’re into the 18th week of eating the entire Arby’s menu. It’s too late to turn back now, so let’s get over to the drive-through menu and order this week’s Arby’s meal!
Oh, Puddy, what does this feel like?
This week we’re going to try out the Chicken Club Wrap and the Crispy Chicken Salad as we near the end of the Market Fresh Menu at Arby’s.
Here we are at the Arby’s drive-though, after eighteen weeks it feels like a familiar friend. Hello, Arby’s drive-through, so good to see you again.
Yes, I think I’m officially going insane over here, so let’s just keep moving along.
And here we are with this week’s 18th Arby’s meal back at the MBIP World Headquarters Kitchen and Tasting Area.
it’s a rare two-bag meal this week! Woo and hoo!
The total for this salad and sandwich is $13.63, which is quite an odd and unlucky number. Now I’m worried that I’ll choke on the meal and no one is here to give me the Heimlich maneuver.
Oh well, at least I’ll go out in a blaze of Arby’s glory. Or something like that.
Here’s the salad and wrap in their perspective wrappings. Wrap…wrap…wrap it up! Sorry, I just had to do that.
Nude food!
Okay, when I ordered the salad I specifically asked for Italian dressing. I got home to discover that in their infinite fucking Arby’s wisdom, they decided to give me Buttermilk Ranch Dressing instead.
What in the fucking alternative universe mind-fuck world is this all about? I hate Ranch Dressing, but Buttermilk Ranch Dressing? Fuck…fuck, fuck and quadruple fuck!
I might as well go and blow a fucking cow! How udderly disgusting!
I have a feeling Terry Grawey has something to do with this and he’s going to pay dearly.
The first step to this salad preparation is to throw this hideous shit directly into the garbage where it fucking belongs!
Fuck!
Okay, I’ve settled down and thrown that disgusting Buttermilk Ranch shit in the trash. Time to get back to reality.
I took the chicken and bacon off of the salad and applied a healthy dose of Ken’s Steakhouse Northern Italian Dressing to the salad. Then I tossed it, added a little more dressing and put the toppings back into place.
Okay, time to dig in to this week’s Arby’s meal!
First Bites
Crispy Chicken Salad: Alright, i was ready to hate this salad due to the fact that they gave me that fucking and sickening Buttermilk Ranch Dressing with it, but I have to admit, this is one tasty salad! The lettuce is crisp and the bacon is smokey and delicious and so is the crispy chicken. Okay, Arby’s…all is forgiven!
Chicken Club Wrap: This is a tasty wrap with a lot of flavors happening inside of it. There’s juicy baked chicken, crispy bacon, melted cheddar cheese and onions in a honey mustard sauce. This is a delicious wrap!
The Verdict
This was an enjoyable Arby’s meal except for that fucking Buttermilk Ranch Dressing. If that shit ever makes its way into my Arby’s bag again in the future, someone will get hurt. You’ve been warned Arby’s!
Fuck!
Okay, I’ve settled down again. And now for this week’s Arby’s video.
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Abandoned Classic Arby’s Restaurant
Sometimes I feel like I’m wasting my time doing weird shit like eating the entire Arby’s menu and then I see an asshole like this spending three minutes and forty four seconds filming and being amazed over a closed and abandoned Arby’s restaurant and realize that I’m perfectly okay. This is quite possibly one of the most boring and inane things I’ve ever seen on YouTube and that in itself walks the fine line between amazing and vomit-inducing.
He has to tell you that he’s driving a Porsche (ooh, let’s be all impressed by that) and then he says that a light bulb went off in his head that told him, “I could get me a roast beef sandwich…or something like that.” Well, that’s just about the dimmest fucking light bulb in this entire universe, but carry on my wayward Arby’s eater! You are in a Porsche, after all…headed to an abandoned Arby’s. So very sad.
I think the highlight of this whole trip is the description of the stetson Arby’s front sign that’s not there anymore. He wonders what has happened to this Arby’s and I wonder why he hasn’t driven straight into the front bed of a semi truck and put himself out of this Arby’s nostalgia horrific life that he is living. Although, I have to admit, It’s kind of admirable that he chooses to keep living this sickening, pathetic life of his. It’s truly proof that ignorance is bliss.
And at the end he’s got the balls to ask you to subscribe to watch more brilliant content like this!
No thanks, I think I’d rather go and stick red-hot knitting needles into my eyeballs, but thank you so very much for that generous offer!
Fuck!
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