Okay this week’s frozen pizza is Lotzza Motzza and it’s a heavily cheesed pizza, which I’m excited about.
Cheese pizza is my favorite kid of pizza, but I have a problem with this pizza before I even stick it in the oven.
Scroll down to see what I’m talking about.
Okay, right off the bat I have a problem with this pizza and it’s the name of the pizza: “Lotzza Motzza.”
What in the holy mother of fuck is that name about?
It’s a cheese pizza and I guess that they’re trying to say that there’s a lot of mozzarella cheese on it, but there’s no “T” in mozzarella. So what in the fuck is the word, “Motzza” supposed to mean? And “Lotzza” isn’t a word either!
What the fuck?
Why not just call your pizza “Ywousng Upouhen.” It makes just as much sense as “Lotzza Motzza.”
A better name would be something like:”Mucho Mozzarella Pizza Pie.” At least those are actual words.
Fuck!
Here’s the pizza unwrapped. And yes, there’s lots of mozzarella cheese on it. And if you noticed, there’s no “T” in mozzarella!
Fuck you Lotzza Motzza!
We’ll put the cheesy pizza pie in the pre-heated 400 degree oven. It says to cook it between 15 to 20 minutes.
While that cooks, let’s watch Dave Portnoy’s review of Lotzza Motzza frozen pizza. I thought he gave it a low score considering the fact he said he liked it and they sent him a pizza oven.
Okay, let’s go check on our pizza pie.
Wow, it cooked up nice and it’s got a wonderful golden-brown color to it.
This looks like a promising pizza pie!
Time to season it up with some Tiger Sauce, Tabasco and some Cayenne pepper. I keep forgetting to get black pepper at the store!
Okay, it’s all seasoned and cut up into four pieces and now we’ll let it cool down. I like my frozen pizza served at room temperature.
While it cools down, let’s watch this excellent Jon Stewart rant on fucking Chicago deep dish pizza which I hate so fucking much.
I agree with everything he says and deep dish pizza is not pizza! It’s a foul bread-bowl mockery of true pizza!
The best pizza is a New York slice of pizza!
And fuck the Chicago dog too, while we’re on the subject! The best hot dog is a New York dirty water dog right from a cart on the street!
This is really good frozen pizza!
The cheese is rich and creamy and the sauce has a nice flavor and a little spiciness and zip to it. The crust is thin and crispy, just the way I like it.
I just wish the name was different!
“Lotzza Motzza?” What in the fucking world of craziness is that all about?
Fuck!
The rating for this week’s pizza is 7.8. It’s a delicious frozen pizza and it would’ve gotten an even higher rating if their name wasn’t “Lotzza Motzza.”
What the fuck?
Aaaahhhhh!
We’ll see you all tomorrow!
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