I certainly have mixed feelings about this week’s pizza adventure. If you’ve followed this blog since the beginning you may remember a trip I took to Avanit’s in February of 2013. All I wanted to do was take a picture them making their signature sandwich, The Gondola. After asking the waiter and then waiting for a very long time, I was handed this note and told that I would have to go through “Corporate” if I chose to go that route.
Well, I decided to go the route of just saying, “Fuck it,” and move on to greener pastures where I’m allowed to take a photo and visit places where they’re appreciative of the free publicity I’m providing here.
Today I’m going to give them another try. Avanti’s has been around for over 40 years, so I really felt like they deserve a second chance. And no, I’m not going to go through “Corporate,” because I just don’t do corporate bullshit. So there! Also part of me wonders if the kid who was waiting on me was just blowing me shit, he just seemed like a jackass to me. So let’s try Avanti’s one more time. With feeling!
And we’re off! I’m really hoping this is a different experience. I have great memories of going to Avanti’s stoned out of my gourd in the ‘70’s and I’d hate to think that it’s now run by Corporate Weasels.
Oh no, this doesn’t look good...
Fuck, the road’s closed! Not a good start to this adventure, time to wing it...
We’ll go down here...
Make a turn here...
And go down this alley here to the parking lot of Avanti’s on Main Street.
Finally here we are. I’m not in the best of moods right now, so I hope this goes good!
Well, we’re just about to find out!
Okay, that went pretty fucking bad! I went in and asked the waitress if I could take pictures and go back in the kitchen and take some pictures of them making my pizza. So she checked with the hostess who said that she had to ask the supervisor on duty. So, once again I’m waiting, but I do want to say that everyone there was extremely nice and friendly. After a few long minutes the hostess said that the supervisor said that the GM would have to okay any pictures taken inside. I was then told that the GM wouldn’t be in until the next day. That would be too late because I had a bunch of shit to do the next day and what if I waited and then the GM said no? So I asked the hostess if there was any way they could call the GM and ask her if I could do this today. She went back to ask the supervisor and after a few more minutes, the supervisor came out, was very nice, but she said I’d have to call the GM the next day and that she might have to get it cleared through Corporate. BINGO! The magic word, “Corporate” comes out again. So it’s true, Avanit’s is run by Corporate Weasels. Well I had to get a pizza and so I had a brainstorm. Why not try another Avanti’s? Maybe another place wouldn’t be so terrified of the Corporate Weasels that run the Avanti’s Empire!
Here’s another Avanti’s that’s close by where I live on Sterling near the mall. This place has been here for over 20 years. Let’s park and try our luck in here.
Okay, time for take two in this challenging day of pizza!
The door is opening for us, I’ll take that as a good sign, let’s be optimistic and go inside and get this pizza party started!
Fuck it, I’ve had it with this place! I went in and asked the hostess if I ordered a pizza if I could take pictures of the restaurant and of the pizza being made and she said she’d have to go check. She went back to the kitchen and then emerged with a man and a woman. The woman seemed nice and said she was sorry, but I couldn’t take any pictures in there with out permission. Then the guy that was with her shouted out, “There’s no way you’re taking pictures without permission of the owners!” Fuck it, it’s not like I was challenging this asshole to a fight or something! He didn’t have to yell at me, so I decided to get a pizza and get the fuck out of this Corporate Pizza Weasel World, once and for all!
Here it is on my car seat, I’m really in a fucking shitty mood now. I do have to say outside of the guy at the last Avanti’s, all the employees were very nice and pleasant, but they seemed frightened out of their minds by the Corporate Weasels that run the Avanti’s Restaurants from their Ivory Corporate Towers.
Here we are back at MBIP Headquarters, after all the shit we went through, I’m not really that hungry anymore.
Which is good, because this pizza doesn’t look that great.
I tried to keep an open mind while eating their corporate pizza, but to tell the truth, it's not as good as I remember it from years ago. The crust doesn't taste that fresh and it has the overall taste of a bad frozen pizza.
I'm not going to save the leftovers for breakfast tomorrow, I'm going to put this pizza where it belongs...
In the dumpster on top of another Corporate Pizza Box.
Oh well, at least there's dessert in the fridge to wipe this cruel pizza memory away. Cheers and we'll see you all tomorrow!
One Chef Boyardee—Corporate Weasel Pizza tastes like Corporate Weasel and that’s never a good thing, If you go there, I’d stick with the Gondola.